minimunch

Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
 
A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”
To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”
 
A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”
The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”
The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”
The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”
At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”

Congress’ inability to pass the Lokpal bill only just aggravates the situation. To add to it, PM Manmohan Singh is ridiculing Anna for faulty transacation of funds through his trust. This just shows how inefficient the current Government is and their intolerance and impatience. We are losing crores and crores of money in scams and corruption. If we stop them or at least reduce them by 50% we could be very well called developed country. So how is that possible? The reason is simple. We could spend that money in giving the basic infrastructure like electricity, water, proper shelter for the downtrodden. This will automatically elevate us in light of other countries.

 So let us support and join hands for Anna hazare and fight corruption. Jai Hind!

Do Read it girls…

“Alright, this is not cool at all. A recent survey by Nielsen has
revealed that Indian women are the most stressed out in the world: 87%
of our women feel stressed out most of the time. This statistic alone
has caused me to stress out. Even in workaholic America, only 53% women
feel stressed.

What are we doing to our women? I’m biased, but Indian women are the
most beautiful in the world. As mothers, sisters, daughters, colleagues,
wives and girlfriends - we love them. Can you imagine life without the
ladies?For now, i want to give Indian women five suggestions to reduce
their stress levels.

One, don’t ever think you are without power. Give it back to that
mother-in-law. Be who you are, not someone she wished you would be. She
doesn’t like you? That’s her problem.

Two! , if you are doing a good job at work and your boss doesn’t value you
- tell him that, or quit. Talented, hard-working people are much in
demand.

Three, educate yourself, learn skills, network - figure out ways to be
economically independent. So next time your husband tells you that you
are not a good enough wife, mother or daughter-in-law, you can tell him
to take a hike.

Four, do not ever feel stressed about having a dual responsibility of
family and work. It is difficult, but not impossible. The trick is not
to expect an A+ in every aspect of your life. You are not taking an
exam, and you frankly can’t score cent per cent (unless you are in SRCC,
of course). It is okay if you don’t make four dishes for lunch, one can
fill their stomach with one. It is okay if you don’t work until midnight
and don’t get a promotion. Nobody remembers their job designation on
their dying day.

Five, most important, ! don’t get competitive with other women. Someone
will make a bet ter scrapbook for her school project than you. Another
will lose more weight with a better diet. Your neighbour may make a
six-dabba tiffin for her husband, you don’t - big deal. Do your best,
but don’t keep looking out for the report card, and definitely don’t
expect to top the class. There is no ideal woman in this world, and if
you strive to become one, there will be only one thing you will achieve
for certain - stress.

So breathe, chill, relax. Tell yourself you are beautiful, do your best
and deserve a peaceful life. Anybody trying to take that away from you
is making a mistake, not you. Your purpose of coming to this earth is
not to please everyone. Your purpose is to offer what you have to the
world, and have a good life in return. The next time this survey comes,
i don’t want to see Indian women on top of the list. I want them to be
the happiest women in the world. Now smile, before your mother-in-law!
shouts at you for wasting your time reading the newspaper. ”

Cherish Womanhood…….

Just Chill…

One of my friends sent me this.. worth the read…

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups–porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal–some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite. He told his guests to help themselves to the coffee.After everyone had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said, “If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones.“While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases, it is just more expensive, and in some cases, even hides what we drink.“What all of you really wanted was coffee. But you consciously went for the best cups. And then you began eyeing each other’s cups, to see who had the best one.“Now consider this. Life is the coffee. The jobs, money, and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life. And the type of cup we have does not define, nor change, the quality of life we live.“Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor the coffee, not the cups!“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.“Live simply. Speak kindly. Care deeply. Love generously.”Author Unknown

Hey everyone, I made Paneer butter masala today and it came out so well. Here is the recipe if you want to try them out too. Happy eating!

Ingredients:
2 cups - water
1 cup - milk
4 - tomatoes (big) and chopped
2 - onions, big and chopped
1 stick - butter
3 - cinnamon sticks (2 inches long)
5 - cloves
3 - bay leaves (big)
4 - cardamom
8 to 10 - cashew nuts
1 tbsp - ginger garlic paste
1 tsp - sugar
1 slab - paneer
salt as needed
coriander leaves
oil

Method

Heat 1/2tbsp of butter in a heavy bottom pan.
Add cinnamon, cloves, bayleaves, cardamom, cashew nuts fry for a while and grind to a powder.
Fry chopped onions, ginger-garlic paste to a golden brown and keep aside.
Fry chopped tomatoes for 2 min and grind along with onions, ginger-garlic paste.

Grind the fried onions and tomotoes to a paste
Now heat some oil and fry the onion and tomato paste and all the dry powders.
Allow to cook for 3 min.
Now add 2 cups of water and cook the gravy on low flame for 8 min.
Cut the paneer into small cubes and fry them to a golden brown.
Now add milk to the gravy.
Add the rest of the butter, kasoori methi and paneer.
Add salt as per taste.
Cook till the paneer is soft.
Garnish with chopped coriander leaves.
Serve hot with roti, poori, chapathi or biryani.

The story of Krishna can be divided into two parts: the Bhagavata part and the Mahabharata part. The first part is where he is in Madhuvan, playing the flute, drawing the milkmaids to dance with him outside the village, at night, in the forest. It is a place that is not governed by fear, or rules, or obligation, yet everything is synchronized to form a perfect circle.

The second part is where he is in Kurukshetra, riding a chariot, leading warriors to a bloodbath. It is a place of fear and rules and obligations and vendetta, where all rules of decency collapse.

Every employee who joins an organisation, hopes it to be Madhuvan: a place of joy and hope and growth and teamwork. Every employee who is leaving an organization describes the situation as Kurukshetra: a place of struggle and politics and insensitivity. We want our worlds to be governed by the principles of Bhagavata, but we are often faced with the terrible ways of the Mahabharata.
In a large company of seventy thousand people, Milind found his team of seven people always groaning and complaining and being nasty about everyone and everything from the management to the customer. As a young team leader, he felt he was in the heat of a Kurukshetra battle every day. He realized that every organization had the same grouses with the management, with the admin, with the customer, with teammates. This is how most organizations were, even those who claimed very publicly to be employee-friendly.

Maybe, he realised, this is how every employee sees an organization and everyone expects the world around him to transform. Who established Madhuvan and Kurukshetra? Does Krishna create these spaces or these spaces create Krishna? Are we fountainheads of circumstances or victims of circumstances?
Milind decided he had enough of the ‘issues’. Every day he would focus on what was positive in both professional and personal life. No negative conversations allowed, except on Tuesdays - which he called ‘vent-day’. Every day Milind would only discuss positive things. When there was a problem, the focus was on solutions. When there was a complaint, the focus was on resolution. He encouraged his team to do the same. They agreed reluctantly.
On Tuesday, Milind wore a black shirt and the day was spent only complaining and whining and in bouts of intense irritation. It took getting used to but in a few weeks, Milind’s team was a happier team, all organizations issues notwithstanding. Milind took a stand: he would transform his little world into Madhuvan.
He realized the importance of the chariot festival of Jaggannath Puri where devotees pull the giant chariots hoping to bring Krishna back from Kurukshetra to Madhuvan. The point is to discover that only we, on our own, can close the Mahabharata chapter in our life and open the pages of the Bhagavata. If we wait for management to do it, we may be waiting for a long, very long, time

Story # 1

It’s a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave,
lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.
Fox: “Do you know the time, because my watch is broken”
Lion: “Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you”
Fox: “Hmm… But it’s a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more.”
Lion: “Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed”
Fox: “That’s ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches”
Lion: “Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed”
The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: “Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken”
Lion: “Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you”
Wolf: “You don’t expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV

Lion: “No problem. Do you want to try it?”
The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene :
Inside the lion’s cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent
looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.
Moral :

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS;
LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.
Management Lesson in the context of the working world :

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED;
LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES

I wanted to review about Taal institute which is in Vijaya Bank layout off Bannerghatta road. They have dance, guitar, drawing, singing, etc classes. I put my (about) 4 yr old daughter in dance class. This is called Juniors session. The point is there are so many children and the attention given to your child will be zero or minimal. The dance choreographer focuses on those that dance anyway and they dont care about other children who are shy and are trying to learn dance. I was very disappointed with the way they were conducting the classes. I have pulled my daughter out of this. These guys are so money minded that they will push a low quality t-shirt to you to buy for Rs.250 and that should be worn for the dance class. On top of it Rs.150 for their CD. I have till now not received the CD. One of the choreographers was also very rude. They do not allow parents inside while the children are dancing irrespective of whether it is first class or not. I am able to relate now why parents are not allowed inside. This way you will not know whether your child is dancing or not. My daughter was only standing in the corner when I had peeped in for couple of seconds. I do not want to waste Rs.600 every month for such useless classes.

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either ur
money or life… The wives want both!
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Marriage is like a public toilet Those waiting outside are desperate to
get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

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No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied
with 4 things in life.
(1) Mobile
(2) A utomobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because there is always a better model in neighborhood.

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Searching these keywords on Google `How to tackle wife?`
Google search result, `Good day sir, Even we are searching`.

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Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right. It
only means that the safety of your head is much more important than
your ego!

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Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house
for 5 years.Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!

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Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling
single again.

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A friend recently explained why he refuses to get to married.
He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs.

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It takes thousand workers to build a castle, Million soldiers to protect
a country, but just One woman to make a Happy Home ——— A Good
Maid!

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Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen
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–
–
–
–
of them

A SARDAR WENT HUNTING ONE DAY IN ONTARIO AND BAGGED THREE DUCKS.
 
HE PUT THEM IN THE BACK OF HIS PICKUP TRUCK AND WAS ABOUT TO DRIVE
HOME WHEN….
 
HE WAS CONFRONTED BY A GAME WARDEN WHO DID NOT LIKE SARDARS.
 
THE GAME WARDEN ORDERED THE SARDAR TO SHOW HIS HUNTING LICENSE
AND THE SARDAR PULLED OUT A VALID ONTARIO HUNTING LICENSE. THE GAME
WARDEN LOOKED AT THE LICENSE,
 
THEN REACHED OVER AND PICKED UP ONE OF THE DUCKS, SNIFFED ITS BUTT,
AND SAID,” THIS DUCK AIN’T FROM ONTARIO THIS IS A QUEBEC DUCK. YOU GOT
A QUEBEC HUNTING LICENSE, BOY??”
 
THE SARDAR REACHED INTO HIS WALLET AND PRODUCED A QUEBEC HUNTING
LICENSE.
 
THE GAME WARDEN LOOKED AT IT, THEN REACHED OVER AND GRABBED THE
SECOND DUCK, SNIFFED ITS BUTT AND SAID ” THIS AIN’T NO QUEBEC DUCK.
THIS DUCK’S FROM MANITOBA. YOU GOT A MANITOBA LICENSE ??”
THE SARDAR REACHED INTO HIS  WALLET AND PRODUCED A MANITOBA HUNTING
LICENSE.
 
THE WARDEN THEN REACHED OVER AND PICKED UP THE THIRD DUCK,
 
SNIFFED ITS BUTT, AND SAID ” THIS AIN’T NO MANITOBA DUCK.
THIS HERE DUCK’S FROM NOVA SCOTIA.
 
YOU GOT A NOVA SCOTIA HUNTING LICENSE??” AGAIN THE SARDAR REACHED
INTO HIS WALLET
 
KEEPING CALM AND PATIENCE AND BROUGHT OUT A NOVA SCOTIA LICENSE.
THE GAME WARDEN WAS EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED AT THIS POINT,
AND HE YELLED AT THE SARDAR
 
“JUST WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU FROM ??”
 
THE SARDAR SMILED, TURNED AROUND, BENT OVER, DROPPED HIS PANTS SHOWING
HIS BUTT AND SAID,
 
” YOU TELL ME, YOU ARE THE EXPERT.”
 
” TENSION LENEKA NAHI, TENSION DENEKA”